Thursday, December 22, 2011

God will keep you

Looking back over my life I begin to feel much older than I really am. I realized that the person I used to be I am no longer. I am not what I want to be but as the old folks say thank God I am not who I used to be! Growing up I struggled with bouts of self-pity, loneliness and even at times depression. I only now realize how far gone I was. Every night in my bed I would hope and pray that I wouldn't wake up in the morning, only to wake up in the morning mad that I was in the same situation. Have you ever contemplated suicide? Have you ever felt like life was just not worth living another day?
Growing up there was anger, bitterness, self-pity, loneliness and depression all around me and it felt like I just caught the bug. My teenage brother attempted suicide numerous times, my sister indulged in the ritual of cutting herself to relieve pain inside and there I was surrounded by all of that. I grew up feeling those same emotions because I didn't have any friends and was constantly ridiculed at school for being different. I had no desire to kill myself not for any honorable reason just because I didn't want to feel physical pain. I opted for God to take me out. I thought if God saw the mess I was in, the home life I had He would do me a favor and take me away from it all. But now I realized He kept me for a reason.
 Isaiah 46:4 God states, "...I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. God is a keeper! He didn't just keep me so I can stay in the same situation and be miserable. He kept me so that my life can be a blessing to someone else. Have you ever wondered why you are still here? Even the prophet Elijah prayed to die in 1 Kings 19 :4 but God kept him for a purpose. We can only see finite things but God sees the infinite.
My prayer for you is that the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with you always even in the dark times of your life. I pray that you recognize He is there and that He has a plan for your life.